Lesson 0:Stop explaining everything!
Vyas: Ma, let us move to LNT Estansia.
Me: Why? Its too far away.
Vyas: Estansia has everything within; school, hospital, shopping mall!! Just on the other side of the window!
I tried telling him that it was some kind of an optical illusion! Would hear none of it. And went on to explain the ‘other benefits’!
Lesson 1: Don’t act smart with kids!
Was doing some grammar exercises with him. This time, it was my turn to do a “WHY?” to him and hoped for a sweet revenge.
Me: What are proper nouns?
Vyas: Names given to common nouns, and they start with a capital letter.
Me: What are common nouns?
Vyas: It names places, people, or things.
Me: Why are proper and common nouns called so?
Vyas: Simple. Because they are either proper or common! (A bulb moment for me)
Lesson 2: Learn to communicate to pint-sized elves!
Me: Let us try some plurals
Vyas: (stooping and resting his cheek on his right palm, eyes partly closed, a false snore- to say its a boring exercise)
Me: I will ask you to spell out a few words in between. Okay?
Vyas: (Still the same expression, and no response).
Me: Okay, Fairy.
Vyas: Okay Fairies
Me: I mean, spell the word (I raise my voice to imply I was not impressed)
Vyas: Then you must say it clearly like this: Spell the word <say the word>. Example: Spell the word Furniture.
So much for trying to be responsible!!
Lesson 3: Don’t expect credit.
I looked at him intently, trying to make him conscious. Its a game I often play with him and love to see him blush! Silly I know..
Vyas: Ammmmaaa! Why are you looking at me like that?
Me: I have a doubt da!
Vyas: Ayyo, what is it? (knowing what was coming)
Me: How come you are so cute da?!
(At which point, if the father is around will impart a little gyan saying : Kaakkai-kku thann kunju, porkunju – meaning even a crow finds its own child precious. Hell yes! Why not?!)
Vyas: (Goes arggghhh…, rolls his eyes, shrugs.. a big build up really) Because am cute!