I once promised to post few from the book Vyas got, and forgot all about it!
Disclaimer(?):The mommy and sonny can be this disgusting. You are warned.
Here are the ones I… well.. liked.
Nickie’s knickers are fantastic:
sparkly, silky, scarlet plastic-
perfect for her acts gymnastic
but for the absence of elastic.
Grandad’s pants billow on the washing line
Like the enormous sails of an old ship
Ready to voyage to a distant land-
Maybe they’ll sail to the West Undies.
Babies Don’t Care
What’s your baby brother doing?
Why’s he gone all red?
Why’s he screwing up his face
And shaking his bald head?
Why’s he wriggling like that-
All squirmy in his seat?
And why’s he stretching out his legs
From his hips down to his feet?
Oh, he looks OK now
He’s grinning. Seems quite happy.
Happy? He’s ecstatic..
He’s just filled up his nappy.
(Sonny has reasons to like this!)
Earwax is so wonderful,
Smooth and toffee gold,
Roll it in your fingers
Then leave it to grow cold
Collect it from your neighbours,
Press it into tins,
Label it organic
Then feed it to the twins.
Use it on the furniture,
Polish your new sandals,
Start a new designer craze,
Give earwax Christmas candles.
Publishers, authors- Let me know if I’ve violated any copyrights.