Its not bad having kids! I discovered that motherhood was/is not as rosy as I was led to believe and that it is not the best of experiences to attend to the incessant poos, pees,pukes and not to mention the sleepless nights.. But then, to me, it is a great package with a thousand lessons, which mostly has made me a better person. The best deal in this package has been to soak up the love, countless cuddles, kisses, baby giggles, gurgles, and the joy of being the only person (you know where Varun’s learns vanity:)) to decipher every cry and smile of my babies:) Motherhood, as it now appears, is a lesson in progress..
Motherhood is a long innings: Specially when you have two kids with a few years between them:) I was slightly disillusioned when I realized that babies grow up into adults overnight only in the movies.. Who am I kidding?! There are many moments when I have wished that the kids grow up fast, so we can make a long trip, sleep through the night, visit the doctors less, not share the berths on the train, and most of all, avert the ‘how to rear children’ sermon from all and sundry! Just when I heaved a sigh of relief at having the entire berth to myself on a train because Vyas moved to his own, the second one came:) And the brat would insist on sleeping only next to me:) Its a weird feeling because, on one hand, I want them to remain babies and then I walk the opposite direction! The experiences at every stage of the child’s growth is so different and at the end of the day, I realize that I have not learnt enough:) Someone said that it takes only 18 years to raise the kids. That gives me hope:)
Practice before you preach: Children are equipped with a more intelligent mind than we give credit, and seem to be gifted with the ability to learn even what is not taught. Loosing temper, not being nice to the neighbour like finding excuses to not lend that mixie jar, or a cup of coffee powder or sugar because she is in the habit of borrowing every second day, lying for petty things etc are some untaught lessons, but better imbibed than what is taught. So, yes, motherhood has made me more watchful and self-critical.. Once, I insisted that Vyas do something (don’t remember what it was..) His response was, “Amma, I don’t like being forced. Just like you”.
There are no perfect mothers: I’m not the ‘ideal-mommy’ of the self-help books… I end up saying/doing the wrong things many times.. I argue, fight, and occasionally spank the kids.. If there is an argument with the hubby, it mostly is in their presence. Overtime, I have learnt that it is perfectly okay to be myself even with my children as long as we are not seizing each others hair! They understand and their ability to discern the right and wrong from what happens must never be underestimated..
Patience is a virtue: Enough said! I surprise myself at my new level of patience, extending to those beyond my children too.. Which is even more surprising.. I’m liking that ‘new-side’ to me and would like to think that it has helped me grow ‘selective-deafness’ and filter out most of the scum that tries to make its way to me:). Other postive side-effects to this seems to be ‘tolerance’ and the ability to forgive.. Well, at least much more than I allowed myself in the pre-mommy days:)
Lethargy doesn’t help: I was in the habit of counting the grains in a morsel and have won several slowest-eater contests:) I even gained (earned actually) the ‘Preeti Mixer’ title in the days of yore – the food would be reduced to perfect pulp in the mouth before making an entry into the digestive tract.. It takes only minutes now, unless I intentionally eat slowly.. The poo and pee calls from the kids always arrive when the mommy shoves down 2 mouthfuls.. Now, go figure which is the cause and which is the effect!
PS: I just realized that I forgot to tag few blog friends.. Would love to pass this on to: