A glimpse into the mind of a 21st-gen kid

What was I thinking not recording the conversations with my fellas this past few years? The first-born of course has officially told me not to share stuff about him in the blogosphere. Privacy and all that! A matter of time before the second-born imposes stiff rules on what I can and cannot write about them.

I need to tell though that at 10, Varun is officially 50. Yes, it’s possible. Here’s a conversation during our walk up to the nearby library yesterday. We have to walk past the school where the boys study to get to the library. And this past Friday/Saturday happened to be the cultural fest in their school. Vyas was one of the volunteers pretending to be busy and was still in the school premises around 5.00PM when we were on our way to the library.

When we neared the school,

ME: Hey Varun, I see some students there on the ground. Let’s hang out here for a while and see if we can spot Vyas. Let’s see what he’s really busy doing.

VARUN: Ma, no, let’s keep walking.

ME: Please da. 5 minutes?

VARUN: Ma, please. You’ll embarrass him. Don’t make him conscious.

ME: Embarrass him? How? Why would he be embarrassed by me?!

VARUN: No, it’s not like that. See, the thing is, he’s grown up. He’s 17 mom. He doesn’t need you around all the time, watching out for him. You know, he doesn’t need your help like how he did 5-6 years back. You should try and understand the 21st-gen kids’ ma.

ME(Aghast): Hello! You are still my kids and it doesn’t change anything. If you 21st-gen kids are going to feel embarrassed about your own folks, I guess something’s wrong with your generation. That attitude I’d say is being insensitive and shallow. Don’t you think? Why I will never be embarrassed about my children.

VARUN: I’m pretty sure we’ve embarrassed you quite a few times. Maybe you don’t want to admit or you don’t remember.

ME: Nah! I still think you are wrong. So what do you think I should be doing? (By this time, we had walked past the school)

VARUN: Nothing much. Maybe just back-off a little? You know? Like, not crowd him?

ME(floundering for words): Wh–What? Oh, you think so? Ummm.. (I go quiet, wondering where all this was coming from)

VARUN: (After almost a minute of quiet): Ma, did I offend you? I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you. Just wanted to let you know how we kids think..

ME (At a loss of words still): No, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me. I do want you to understand how parents think too..Okay?

VARUN: Alright mom. I love you. You know that right?

Right! I’m trying to catch up. That is all!


Dear Mochakottai*

My first worry when I discovered that I was expecting you was that I’d not have a berth to myself on a train for the next 5 years..  It’s been a year since you have your own berth on a train and you love it! The feeling of relief is mutual and we high-fived that! I love that I’m the only one that gets to kiss your lips and gets kissed in return, the ONLY recipient of a rare honour. Will gladly give that up when the lucky damsel walks into your life 😉

At six, you are still called by several names – Pattu, vandu, vaandu, vaalu, mochakottai, mottai, chellam, vadhun, pattani, kutti rowdy and some more.  Every name becomes you 🙂 You however would like to be called John, Jakk (that is how you spell Jack!), Django, Anand (Your 20 yr old friend living next door), or Apram (your anna’s friend whom you adore). 

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAYou are still that drama king and know how to wield your magic on everyone. Your anna hopelessly relents to all the unfair demands and on most occasions is caught in that ‘older sibling’ trap, getting an earful from amma for a ruckus you create. Brat!, but a huggable, squeezable one at that! Even your anna can’t stop giving you that kiss which he thinks we haven’t noticed 🙂 You chase him around the house and like to be chased, you ask him to tickle you and squeal until the roof comes down, ask a share of everything he plays with and share yours only when you are in the mood. You do pushups right after dinner and insist on counting to 100 yourself. You don’t let us dissuade you from working out right after a meal :/ My yoga mat suffers your stunts, including the fake meditative stance that you pull off so well without budging at our attempts at distracting you. You have everyone at home wrapped around your tiny fingers!

Your demands are something. You call me when I’m at work and ask me very nicely if I can get you a mango-shot AND a choco-shot from CCD. The less-than-a-minute conversation, mostly one-sided, for this one demand has about thirty ‘pleases’ and ten ’thankyous’ in it. You again call to remind me to get you a dozen oil pastels and more drawing note books. You call your chitti and ask for night suits, call your atthai and ask an ‘Ironman’ watch, call your chittappa and demand toys, nudge another chithappa into let you play San Andreas on his computer and get any of them to treat you to some yummy stuff at Milky way or Pizza Hut.  Being the youngest among a bunch of kids has its advantages. But so much?!!

You have many avatars and the one you enjoy sporting the most is being a cowboy. Do you remember what a tantrum you threw during our trip to the USA, insisting that we buy a horse, a real gun, and cowboy boots your size? You said you’d convince the airport authorities to let the horse in without a passport and visa 🙂

You are a child with love for many things beautiful. You love colors, you love to draw, you love to imagine, you love dreams, you love to care, you love playing, you love music, you love to recite, you love narrating stories, you love listening to them. You love lazing around, you love to team up with anna, you equally love fighting with him, you love to argue, you love to rest on my lap and listen to a story, you love being cuddled, you love to lie down on your papa’s back, and you love him chasing you, you love thatha, you love sharing his bed, you love oranges, you love sambhaar, and you love good food 🙂 You love showing off your 6-pack (which you quickly correct and call it 24 pack) which comprises a show of ribs and a vein here or there 😉 You are also a bluff master and no one can tell a truth from a tale.. For now, I’d call even that a talent.

Thanks for the beautiful 6-pack you are da kutta. You have given anna his status as a ‘big bro’ which he so enjoys and sometimes over does just like how you over do your bit about being ‘the thambi’ 🙂 You have added yet another beautiful layer of colors to our lives. On this birthday, among all the beautiful, wonderful things I wish for my laddu, I also want to wish that you and your adorable anna make the best of companions and that you are always available for each other. Happy sixth birthday day da vaandu and may you be blessed with a good, healthy and happy long life!

Things you shouldn’t do early in the morning

Varun walks out of the bedroom on a Sunday morning, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Looks at the big bro meddling with mom’s smartphone. Walks up to him and snatches it from his hand, puts it back on the table and says, “No gadgets early in the morning”!

Sometime later, the dad walks into the room and switches on the TV. Some cricket match in progress. The little man walks up to the TV and switches it off. “No gadgets so early in the morning”, he says.  The time is 10.30 AM. This time he comes straight to the mommy and does a high-five.

All is well with this world.

What to say?!!

At 12 (going on 13), the older brat wonders thus on a community he has created on G-Plus:

“….and y is ronaldo kissing a shoe?must leave a bad taste in his mouth.”

At 5 (going on 6), the younger one reacts thus when I tell him how beautifully he draws and that he should try attending a drawing class because he’ll enjoy it..

“Oh why, oh why, oh why did I grow up?”!!!

Surely I’d heard him wrong, but on further prodding he says,

“Why did I grow up mom? So much work to do – writing, drawing, reading, cycling, playing!! “

A bright future awaits..

The little Masseurs

The boys have a handy skill 🙂 Vyas’s slender fingers start at my temples in slow circles, move to the eyebrows and to the center of the forehead. Without removing his hands, he slowly draws to the head and applies slight pressure at different points with the tip of his fingers and traverses down to the nape, a little more pressure and a just some more behind the ears. Thoroughly professional. Bliss. Varun follows. More gently. Plants a kiss on the forehead for a finishing touch. More bliss. I seem to have headaches more often. Really.

Gift of the gab

Varun: What?! U.K.G means going to school every day?! No way!

Me: Err… ummm.. It is not like….

Vyas (interrupting my defence): No da Varun.. You don’t have to go everyday. UKG means, 5 days school and 2 days holidays. And the process repeats. Again 5 days school and 2 days holidays and so on. After a few cycles like that, you’ll get about 50 days holidays and you’ll be in the 1st grade!

Varun is convinced. Only, I don’t know why!

Eggs and therefore birds and babies

Varun’s classmate distributed cakes to all the classmates on his birthday. The chocolates/cakes/candies given are usually tucked into their baskets and sent home just in case the kids are allergic to some ingredients.. So, Varun usually brings home and the first thing he does after removing his shoes and washing his hands, is to wipe clean the cake or choc.

This time, Vyas was home too when the fellow came back with the cake. He took a bite even before the bro ran a quality/brand check. Bro still did and declared that the cake had egg. Varun paused, like for 3 seconds and said, “It’s alright da. Everyone else ate. And it is nice” and looked at grandpa for approval. Thatha approved of course. After finishing the last morsel, he went up to grandpa and asked, “Thatha, is there a bird in my tummy now?”, concern writ all over 🙂


Varun to me: Amma, did you know that anna and I played hide and seek when we were inside your tummy?
Me: Oh really? Who won?
Varun: Me!!


The human life-cycle according to Varun is something like this:

babies inside tummy –> babies outside tummy –> growing up into older kids —-> kids growing up to first become mothers —> grow up still and become dads —> and grow up more into grandmas and grandpas, in that order.

So, the recent FAQ for me is, “Ma, when will you grow up into a dad?”

Another notion which Vyas too shared as a child is this – As we grow up, we remove and replace our heads. The only explanation to why our faces change over time from a baby to an adult. Their question in Tamizh is, “Amma, naan perusaana, enna thala pottupen? (What head will I wear when I grow up?)”

V(s) are brilliant like that!

V(s) are brilliant like that

The kids befriended Ruby, an adorable ‘doggie’ as Varun calls her, at the resort in Chikmagalur. Vyas enjoyed feeding Ruby with an occasional biscuit or a slice of bread.

He struck a monologue with Ruby, and was caught in action by a friend and my sis:

Vyas to Ruby: Hi Ruby. Pasikaradha? Bread sapadariya? (You hungry? Like to have some bread?)

[A pause and then realization dawns on him and so continues].

Oh, sorry, you don’t know Tamil right? So, do you want to eat a slice of bread?

[Would have loved if Ruby had rolled her eyes at him!]
—— ———-

Varun eyes someone drinking Fanta/Mirinda or some such drink in the train.

He leans into me and fidgets with my hands, kurti, bag and mutters something..

Me: What is it Varun?

Varun: I feel like drinking something Orange in color.

(You can replace anyone in my place here, and the conversation would’ve still been the same)

Varun: Enakku thoppa valikaradhu (I have a stomach ache)

Me: Why da? What happened? Want to use the toilet?

Varun: Ille. Enakku camera kudutha sariyaidum (I’ll be fine if you give me the camera)

and the ‘stomach ache’ theory/tactic was stress-tested for several of his wants. For chocolates, for walking, for dinner, for Sprite, for tea, for boating, to climb up, to climb down, for a bath, to wear a jean… Get the drift?

Season’s Updates:)

Hope you all had a great Diwali!

Vyas has crossed a stage where comparisons don’t hurt him anymore.. He is okay with his 7 yr old sis and 2.8 yr old brother being comfortable with crackers.. “Its ok. Let them do it. They like it. They are not scared of fire and explosions. I don’t like it. And it scares me”, he says. He reasoned that we could have bought a beyblade base stadium in the amount we spent on crackers! Which was an amount of thousand odd rupees between 3 families. It indeed is a big amount and I totally agree that it is a huge waste of money.. The hubby and I are not ‘crackers’people. Its a different matter that I have enjoyed a loot during my school days and took great pride in breaking the max.no of Waterbury’s tonic bottles by using them as rocket ‘launchers’ or competing with friends on who will light the max number of atom bombs and Lakshmi vedis held in hand and thrown aloft just before it explodes. Looking back, i now realize how dangerous it was and how stupid I have been. But then, I don’t remember my parents or those of my friends supervising! We all used to sun-dry the crackers for a week before Diwali and pray hard for the rain-gods to stay away (RM, are you reading this.. those were the only times I did not want rains:)) With Vyas, we have wanted him to outgrow the fear and it doesn’t help with a house full of cousins, aunts and uncles having fun bursting crackers and only your child has withdrawn into a room, shutting both the ears with the hands. He did not withdraw as much this time, but managed to ‘stay away’. I’m giving up this effort from the next year because I realize it is not worth it. We all have our bogarts isn’t it?

It has been a different story with Varun. Few high’lights’:

Varun lights a flower pot with his dad in tow. Is awed by the effect and goes — waaaaaaaaooowwww! And follows it up with several wows every time he lights one! Anna is miffed and thinks we are putting his baby-brother at risk.

Varun: Dei anna, vaa daa, pattachu vedhikalaa.. (respected anna, come, let us fire crackers)

Vyas: Naan varale (am not coming)

Varun: Jollyaa ikkun daaaa (it will be fun..)

Vyas: Nee vedi da. Am not coming! (you go ahead..)


Amma: Naan light off panna poren! (am switching off the light!)

Varun: pleeeese maaa.. spyinmins kaeeechi. (any guesses people?)

He loves watching movie songs. A discreet attempt at switching channels when something ugly comes up, is met with- enakku dappankutthu pakkanummmm.. Someone save me pleazzzz!!

His current fav songs are :

Bum bum bole from Taare Zameen Par
Ennamo edho from Kho
Kaalankaathale from Vengai(its anna’s current fav too though he wouldn’t admit.. rolls his eyes when challenged!)
Enna solla pore from Vengai?

Hosanna from VTV remains his all time fav.

He sang, he danced and was generally living it up!
Being a true V-blood, he has inherited our famous temper. No hints here. EVERYONE in the v-household is short-tempered, and Varun is no exception. The only difference is that he is utterly cute at such times (if i may say so myself:))! He calls us all names and how-

He lets out a quick –raaaskall– and realizes he has made a mistake because he steals a quick glance at me and catches me glaring at him. Wanting to believe that he didn’t actually say it, continues with – rashagulla (rasagulla), gulaap champhan (gulaab jaamun), myshoor-paak (mysore-pak).. The anna is of course, not content.. he helps him with kaju kathli, doodh peda, jalebi, badam halwa etc.. Yes, it was in keeping with the Diwali season:) Like always, I counseled myself with – This too shall pass! And I hope it does.

PS: Am resisting the urge to provide a Junoon-translation (remember) of the kidspeak.. excuse the ones that still make their way here:)) The Junoon Tamizh deserves not one but several separate posts:)

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