When Peter Varun does a short U.S.of A tour…


…. he begins to think he has lived there forever. Even if it was just for 3 weeks.

The first noticeable change is the long drawl whenever the fella speaks.

1. Am caaaaameen (am coming)
2. I jhounch naaauu (I don’t know)
3. Am leeezneen (am listening)

…. you get the drift?

The best (so far) came last night when the daddy V played the usual songs at bedtime and ‘Kurai Ondrum Illai’ by M.S is one of them. Varun usually sings along though he doesn’t get all the words right. Last night however, he said this:

“Heiii Dadjh, I like only Eenglish songs. Styleeesh. Not theeze Ummachi Paats!–> Hey Dad, I like only English songs. Stylish. Not these Ummachi (Tamil slang for devotional) songs!

I ain’t gonna take’m to the foreign land any sooner!

Eggs and therefore birds and babies


Varun’s classmate distributed cakes to all the classmates on his birthday. The chocolates/cakes/candies given are usually tucked into their baskets and sent home just in case the kids are allergic to some ingredients.. So, Varun usually brings home and the first thing he does after removing his shoes and washing his hands, is to wipe clean the cake or choc.

This time, Vyas was home too when the fellow came back with the cake. He took a bite even before the bro ran a quality/brand check. Bro still did and declared that the cake had egg. Varun paused, like for 3 seconds and said, “It’s alright da. Everyone else ate. And it is nice” and looked at grandpa for approval. Thatha approved of course. After finishing the last morsel, he went up to grandpa and asked, “Thatha, is there a bird in my tummy now?”, concern writ all over πŸ™‚

—————

Varun to me: Amma, did you know that anna and I played hide and seek when we were inside your tummy?
Me: Oh really? Who won?
Varun: Me!!

—————

The human life-cycle according to Varun is something like this:

babies inside tummy –> babies outside tummy –> growing up into older kids —-> kids growing up to first become mothers —> grow up still and become dads —> and grow up more into grandmas and grandpas, in that order.

So, the recent FAQ for me is, “Ma, when will you grow up into a dad?”

Another notion which Vyas too shared as a child is this – As we grow up, we remove and replace our heads. The only explanation to why our faces change over time from a baby to an adult. Their question in Tamizh is, “Amma, naan perusaana, enna thala pottupen? (What head will I wear when I grow up?)”

V(s) are brilliant like that!

Much ado about.. well…


Yuck post ahead. Read at your own risk. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

To Varun: Hey you vaandu! You cannot sue me for sharing this bit (about what you did of course!) with the world because I obtained your permission. Am recording it here just so you know what an entertainment material you are. And yes, anna inspires you.

Varun to me: Amma, I want to use the ‘rest room’. I think I want to poo.

Me (half-way through my dinner): Ok go! Call me when you are done (this too shall pass!)

Varun (back in a few seconds): Ma, this poo is bad. Refusing to come out.

Me: SSSShhabbaaa. Ok.

Varun (after another minute): Ma, I think I really want to go now.

Me: Poyenda (Just do it!)

Varun (runs to the loo and is back again in few seconds): oh hum…. Not coming.

After a few seconds, he stands, squirms, grins.

Me: (exasperated) What is it now?!

Varun: I just farted. Twice.

At this moment, anna is shaken out of his P.G.Wodehouse reverie. He reminds me its a while since I used garlic in my cooking!!

Drama King


It is well past 10 PM. Varun is trying everything in his means to avoid hitting the bed. “I’m busy”, he says when I ask him what he is up to. I get out of the bed to go and see what exactly he is busy doing. He has changed his t-shirt and is busy tucking it in, adjusting on all the sides, as much as his tiny arms let him get around himself. He has already folded up his jeans by an inch near the ankle. He runs his palm over his head, to smooth out the ruffled hair. I again ask him what he is busy doing. ‘Getting ready for bed’, he says!

Rowdy fella!


The two boys are living out the phase of ‘extremes’ now where they are either veeerrrryyy loving and look out for each other, or are ready to tear each other’s hair apart. Varun triggers off the battle mostly.

Daddy V was preparing Varun for his bath. A weekday, but Vyas had the day off (study holiday!). Varun had to go to school and the dad and I had to get back to work. Grandma was away and Grandpa- the one man army, had to manage the two brats. The conversation went something like this:

Dad V– Grandpa is alone, so behave.

Vyas & Varun– [Silence]

Dad V to Varun – If Varun causes trouble, Vyas will tell grandpa. Grandpa will smack him. If Vyas troubles, Varun will let grandpa know and Grandpa will smack Vyas. Is that clear?

Varun (without batting an eyelid) – If Grandpa is the cause of trouble, who will punish him? Varun will.

Some lessons from L.K.G


After his first week in school, I was trying to have that conversation with the kid to know what was up at school. Here is what he said:

“Ma’am told that if you smile, your eyes will smile” !!

Wow! I mean, it is a cool thing for a teacher to tell the kids. To talk about a positive trait to small kids. I haven’t seen her yet, but am already in love with her. But, I digress. So a few days after this incident, I asked Varun how things were in school and what other interesting things he was learning from his is ‘ma’am’.

He said – “Ma’am says, if you talk, your ears will talk” !!!

The BRAT! Brattiest I tell you!

Note: Just in case you haven’t noticed, have added another page to this blog – Bopanna’s World. Do hop over and let me know what you think.

V(s) are brilliant like that


The kids befriended Ruby, an adorable ‘doggie’ as Varun calls her, at the resort in Chikmagalur. Vyas enjoyed feeding Ruby with an occasional biscuit or a slice of bread.

He struck a monologue with Ruby, and was caught in action by a friend and my sis:

—————-
Vyas to Ruby: Hi Ruby. Pasikaradha? Bread sapadariya? (You hungry? Like to have some bread?)

[A pause and then realization dawns on him and so continues].

Oh, sorry, you don’t know Tamil right? So, do you want to eat a slice of bread?

[Would have loved if Ruby had rolled her eyes at him!]
—— ———-

Varun eyes someone drinking Fanta/Mirinda or some such drink in the train.

He leans into me and fidgets with my hands, kurti, bag and mutters something..

Me: What is it Varun?

Varun: I feel like drinking something Orange in color.

——————–
(You can replace anyone in my place here, and the conversation would’ve still been the same)

Varun: Enakku thoppa valikaradhu (I have a stomach ache)

Me: Why da? What happened? Want to use the toilet?

Varun: Ille. Enakku camera kudutha sariyaidum (I’ll be fine if you give me the camera)

and the ‘stomach ache’ theory/tactic was stress-tested for several of his wants. For chocolates, for walking, for dinner, for Sprite, for tea, for boating, to climb up, to climb down, for a bath, to wear a jean… Get the drift?

Varunism Mar’13


Varun: Amma, do you know how a sparrow walks?

Amma: Ummm… How?

Varun: (Holds a pencil between two toes and takes baby steps): Like this Ma!

The gait perfectly matching that of a sparrow picking grains from the floor.. Cuteness.. If I may say so myself:-)

——————

Their paternal uncle, another V, is talking to Vyas on phone and is inviting them over to spend a few days with them during the summer hols.. Vyas is making plans, trying to work a schedule amidst his summer cricket camp and another one he is planning to attend with his friends..

Varun forces Vyas to hand him the phone and,

Varun: Yaaru pesaradhu (Who’s speaking?)

Uncle V: Its me da… Will you come with anna during the holidays?

Varun: Hayyoo.. No da. Tomorrow is June da. I have L.K.G. Everyday schooling da. Enakku uniform irukku (I have to wear the uniform too!). Please, ennale vara mudiyadhu (Sorry I can’t come!)

He has a formal uniform the coming academic year and is visibly excited:) The rest of the V-family has done its bit in creating all the hype around Varun becoming a big boy and entering LKG.. So, floating in cloud 9 right now… It will be a while before reality hits.. Not being able to wear his blue-jeans to school for example πŸ˜‰

A watchman’s woes


Varun’s best friends in our apartments happen to be the two watchmen, Raman and Neelakantan, who take turns watching. Raman is over 65yrs old and the other man is around 40. The two men find Varun to be a nice entertainment material and don’t seem to mind anything he does, however nasty or bratty it gets!

1.Varun with his hands clasped behind, to Raman:

“Enna Raman, nethu ungala kanom” -What Raman, did not see you around yesterday. Emulating his grandpa in action and words.

2. Another day. Raman is clearing the cobwebs on the terrace 3 floors above. Varun is downstairs near the gate yelling out:

“Watchman, enge irukeenga? inge seekiram vaanga..” -Watchman, where are you? pls come here soon. Calls him several times with some panic in his voice. Raman hurries down concerned.. The brat has his right arm stuck inside his t-shirt. He says:

“Look here! Oru kai kanom!” – Look, one arm is missing!

3. Yet another day. Varun runs to Raman and begs him to lend his ears. He has a secret to share.

“Oru secret” – A secret.

4. Varun to Neelakantan, the other watchman:

“Enna thalaiva, saapteengala”- Thalaiva is slang for Lord.. Did you eat? N addresses the brat thus. So they end up calling each other so!

5. Another day. Am returning from work and just about to enter the gate. N is walking backwards towards the gate asking,

N: Idhu podhuma- Is this enough?
Varun: Innum back – Go back a little more
N: Ippo?
Varun: Innum back. Yes! Ippo bowling pannunga. – Further back. Yes, Now bowl.

The two are playing cricket.

6. Varun tells N that he’ll dress like a batman and come down again. Opens a draw in my dressing table, pulls out the kajal stick. The forehead, upper lip, lower jaw, the cheeks are thickly coated with layers and layers of kajal. He goes down with so much kala-tika and announces the batman’s arrival at every open door in our apartments.

To a surprised N, he explains thus: My mother wears kajal. Implying, he did it because his mother too does. He doesn’t think it necessary to clarify that I don’t exactly wear it like he does!

————–
Remind me to post about his cringe-worthy deed at a wedding reception..

A nice trait at 3.9?


Varun’s 6.5 yr old friend from the third floor of our apartments, was dressed in a cute pavadai for Karthigai last evening. The two share their crackers, toys, puzzles, candies, and sometimes the bicycle.

I had barely reached home when N came home to take Varun along to light some sparklers, with her dad to supervise. Varun, who was busy meddling with something, looked up when she came in and spontaneously said:

“ummmmm… looking pretty”!!

Am happy he has his priorities right. More happy because he is learning to appreciate:)

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