I’m too tempted to do an elaborate compare & contrast between Vyas and Varun. I’d start with- a sadhu and a saint. Really!!
There is this terrible urge to tear my hair when I fail (miserably) in explaining to the soon-to-be 3 elf that the same jeans cannot be worn for 3 continuous days! How do you all manage to do it? That is, without resorting to a tight spank or without screaming your head off?
His favourite slim-fit blue jean is the beeeg trump card to get any tough job done. Like getting him eat his ‘rasam saadham’ or not to take away anna’s books when he is pretending to study and is anxiously waiting for his chella-thambi, his Perseus, to deliver him from his misery called amma. Anna is all for returning the favour and says that its perfectly OK to wear the same jean for 2 or even 3 days at a stretch. “Style!” he emphasizes.
Picture this. Varun wakes up early on a Sunday morning and shakes amma out of the deep early-morning slumber that she so looks forward to the whole working-week.
“Amma, jeans olandhuthaa?” (Is the jean dry now?)he asks. I try shooing him away, a totally useless effort! “Amma, naan gubboy ma. Chamatha brussh panniti kulipen. Aprom jeans pottukanam. aprom t-shat. aprom paal chaapannum” (I’m a good boy. I will brush, have a shower and then wear my jeans and t-shirt!). I have to curse everyone and everything that comes my way and drag myself out of the bed. More so because the brat will act all cuddly and insist that only I give him a bath. Not the dad who is happy to continue burying his face into the newspaper. Without even a fly disturbing him, hmpf!! I resist the urge to swat this big fly and oblige.
It takes no less than a world-war to peel it off him the following day before his bath. Unnecessary warfare and some bloodshed later, he changes into something and doesn’t take his eyes off the jeans till it makes it to the washing machine. The first thing he looks for as soon as he is back from the ‘payshkool’ is if the blue-thing is drying on the clothes line! From then on it takes a dozen trips to where the clothes are drying to keep a tab on the progress and assess the percentage of dryness. “Adhu olandhuthaa” he starts again and I thank the sun for setting! “Dho paar. Sun ille paar” I tell him and quickly sprinkle some water when he is looking at the sky. I convince him it will dry only the next morning when the sun rises. He isn’t all that convinced and puts his hand on the blue-thing and looks suspiciously at the fresh wetness, but doesn’t argue further. At the same time, he doesn’t want to take any chances. “Amma, adhe hanger-le pottu, room-le fan podu” (put it on a hanger and dry it in the room under the fan)! What if it rains the next morning?!! When the dad is back home, he wants him to confirm if it is dry yet. Appa has to continue the performance and so makes a sad face..”Ayyoo.. ille da. naalaikku morning ok?”! “Ummm..” says the little one and declares that its time to go to bed. He has THAT important job the next morning! At this point, the anna brilliantly suggests that I try the obliviate charm. The urge to swat the bigger fly comes back!